Overwhelmed, out of sorts, pissed off, teary and yet nothing is really wrong in my life. These are the moments when I am the victim of my personality, the over achieving, do everything, don’t ask for help, make everything work perfectly and make sure the dishes are done and the dishwasher empty before I rest my head on the pillow. I start to blame. My husband, my kids, my womaness, my age, and the fact that there is just too much of everything. Luckily after only 24 hours I calmed down sat with my better selves and allowed some solutions to arrive.
I needed some rest. I took an afternoon nap. I drew a bath and lay in my essential oil blends and epsom salt. I let the dishes pile up. I picked flowers and filled vases around the house. I made a cup of tea infused with honey and sat on the porch to watch the sunrise. I made a beautiful soup with the piles of vegetables that sit in boxes on my porch. I gave some of the boxes of vegetables to friends. I gave soup to my father, brother and froze some for myself. I ate a pear directly from the tree. Steve and I harvested seeds from our Kakai pumpkins and put them in the dehydrator. I went to the farm and walked Quilla the Irish Wolf Hound and watched her race from mole hole to deer poop with puppy joy. I wept in the corn field, overwhelmed by the abundance of corn for there is no more room in the freezer.
Gary Zukav came to my rescue. In a random youtube moment a video of his showed up “Healing the feeling of Overwhelm”. I may have been hanging out with my better selves but I was not really changing anything so his words were helpful.
My feelings come from within and all of the outside stimuli that I was reacting to disassociates me from the truth of my life. I am living the life of my dreams. I am free to garden, love, knit, create and associate with good and amazing people. I am grateful that The Twisted Purl Yarn Studio exists and love the learning and the work that it is. I realize the overwhelm comes from my feelings of not being good enough to keep up with all that I demand of myself. So today I choose to let go and allow everything to work out in magical and terrific ways. I appreciate the people that work with me Jane, Bernice, Alexa, Linda, Kymm, and Janet who make this business run smoothly and with such creative force. I am deeply grateful for all of the customers and new friends that have showed up in the last 3 years to make The Twisted Purl a place for peaceful, dynamic creativity.